Five Popular Health Food Trends That Are Disgustingly Good For You

I have probably tried most health food trends at least once. I’ve powered through the sliminess of chia seeds and the taste of powdered ocean floor that spirulina leaves on the back of my tongue, but the five trends below top my yuck-o-meter and get a stern no from me.

Kombucha:

This yeasty, bacteria turned fermented tea boasts benefits like improved gut health and detoxification, immune support, and even some weight loss.

Unfortunately for me, none of these benefits are worth my senses being harassed by the taste of pickled sour kraut juice.

I’ll stick to a shot of ACV or a glass of lemon water to keep my gut fabulous, thank you so much.

Also, adding fruit flavors to it makes it even worse. It’s like adding perfume to your gym sweat, the nasty is still there.

 

Coconut Water:

This liquid from baby coconuts is said to be great for replenishing electrolytes and easing muscle tension, it is also said to have a sweet and nutty taste…my taste buds determined, that is a lie!

Coconut water tastes like coffee creamer mixed with water. And I know this because, when I was younger I had the bright idea that this would be a great substitution for milk.

I’ll stick to plain old properly alkalized H2O.

 

Matcha:

Matcha is just a fancy word for powdered green tea, so the health benefits mimic those of your normal green tea drink; high in antioxidants, calming, aids in weight loss, and boosts metabolism. Green tea itself already leaves much to be desired if not loaded up with some type of sweetener, but  it gets worse in matcha form.

To be fair, I have only had matcha in a latte, but the taste was so strong that my initial reaction was to spit it into a paper towel. No amount of coconut milk or added sweetener could remove the staunch taste of dirty greens.

Barista, give me my normal spiced chai with unsweetened coconut milk, i’ll eat a bowl of clean kale later.

 

Cacao Nibs:

Cacao nibs are little pieces of cacao beans that have not been ground or processed with sugar. The texture is crunchy and the taste is bitter and not chocolaty…at all.

In it’s defense, no chocolate tastes like chocolate at it’s purest form. But it’s counterpart (and one of my favorite super foods) cocoa powder (which is slightly more processed and less nutrient dense but still holds amazing nutritional value), although also bitter to taste, at least offers a chocolaty flavoring (because there is some added sugar) when added to smoothies or used in desserts.

In my experience, the bitterness of cacao nibs can not be baked or blended away. I’ve tried adding them them to trail mix, mixing them in with cereal and smoothies, and baking them into cookies…nothing works.

 

Ghee:

Ghee is clarified butter, so butter minus the milk fat and water. Without the milk fat, most lactose intolerant people are able to use ghee. Ghee is also likened in nutritional richness to coconut oil.

Ghee also tastes disgusting.

Ghee tastes more like butter than butter does. The taste is strong and will saturate your dish if you’re not careful. This is not something you can replace your butter spread for your toast with, it’s more like a butter flavored oil.

Butter without the milk…no thank you, I’ll pass!

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