When I started The Cultured Domestic, I had astronomical expectations for when and how I would post. In typical Angela fashion, I had not taken into consideration my limitations with work and other life commitments. I found myself worrying when I didn’t have new content because I wanted the site to be “perfect”. The fact is, there are weeks where my apartment is a mess, my fridge is empty, and I’m not feeling very creative.
To be honest, one of the biggest obstacles I’ve had to overcome in my adult life is struggling with the illusion that everything had to be perfect. I wanted to be everything to everyone and for everyone. I felt that if I were always saying the right things, doing the right things, and looking the “right” way… I’d always get the job, I’d never get a broken heart, I’d never endure shame, and I’d never lose a friend. I’m sure the pressure to be perfect, for me, stems from being the “golden child” of my family.
Being the first to move away and graduate from college is as much a burden as it is an accomplishment. People start labeling you the “successful one” and if you’re like I was, you wanted to live up to that. Unfortunately, life has a funny way of showing you who is boss. It’s not as easy to deal with rejection or failure when you have to consider more than just your own feelings. So I’ve decided to free myself from the ideals of perfection. Here are some not-so-perfect facts about me and I hope you’ll still love me:
My hair is very fine and thin, I’ll probably wear wigs and weaves for the rest of my life
My right eye is slightly lazy and kind of does its own thing
My stomach refuses to be completely flat, I rock my Beyoncé pouch (circa the ‘Bootylicious’ era) proud
My front teeth are gapped
I don’t make nearly enough money (as I should)
I’m not always nice to my family and friends
Sometimes I forget to say my prayers
I get the occasional (ok, frequent) snack attack
I make up my own punctuation rules
and I curse, a lot!
Here it is girls and boys; striving to be perfect is not the same as striving to be your best. Some of the most successful people are flawed and even credit those flaws to the getting them to where they are. Success means doing your best, not doing better than others. The fact is there is no such thing as better or best, just ask athletes or musicians or artists. Even when you’ve been hailed the best by others, there is always someone who will come along and be better.
With all of that said, The Cultured Domestic is a labor of love. It’s my creative space and I want it to be good. So going forward, I will not stress about how much I post. My goal is to provide great content that will reach people where they are, inspire you, motivate you, or in the very least make you think.