Conscious Uncoupling

A few months back Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin announced the end of their 11 year marriage. In a public statement, Gwen said that their separation was a “conscious uncoupling” and through it they have become closer than ever. People usually reject what they don’t understand and in true media aged fashion the internet went abuzz about the split and what the term “conscious uncoupling” truly meant.

I imagined it meant some type of mutual agreement to end the relationship without any drama attached. After doing a little research I found out “conscious uncoupling” was not a new concept and there was much to be said about it. There is even a step by step process to “conscious uncoupling” . My assumption of its definition was not too far off as it means to take into consideration one’s individual responsibility to the demise of the relationship instead of blaming the other person (something like that). There are no bad guys. It is a blame and guilt free approach to ending a relationship.

In Angela’s terms it means that you take responsibility for your shit and I mine. Living in the relationship was a collaborative effort and ending it gracefully should be too. Being a 30 year old woman who has never experienced real “heartbreak”, I am all about this concept. Give me clarity and I’ll give you peace. It’s easy to point blame on the other person and even easier to assume the blame just to avoid having to talk about it. But I think there is something to be said about an individual who can take responsibility for fudging up. At least I know when I have owned up to my mistakes, specifically in relationships, I’ve walked away being able to forgive myself and am less likely to do it again. Also, like Gwen and Chris, I was able to walk away from the relationship but keep what are now some of my best friendships.

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